| "The story itself is pretty entertaining. Not so
long ago (1993) in a galaxy NOT far away (Portland, OR), two like
minded guys had a powerful thirst, and a common ideology. One tattoo
artist, full of a strong appreciation for prog rock and heavy metal
- WUSSY #1, and a part time cook slash scooter mechanic bartender
(WUSSY #2) found themselves drinking after hours in #2's workplace
when the moment of Zen struck... Both of them had a fine appreciation
of what are now considered bad tattoos, quite a few piercings, and
were fairly large guys. To the average intoxicated meathead, these
things could be construed as indicators of a tough guy looking for
some kind of confrontation. Needless to say, our mentors in this story
were a far cry from the aforementioned manhood challenged stereotype
(our guys are some of the nicest, most unthreatening, good time guys
you ever met in your whole life). Back to the bar... After much tequila,
Zima, and lost rounds of video poker there was scene much like something
out of Beavis and Butthead these guys had a discussion about scooters,
chicks, and how they were a bad influence on each other in general.
The conversation drifted to the fact that they were tired of people
(meatheads in general) trying to pick fights with them any time they
went to a bar and just wanted to hang out. American concealed weapon
laws were discussed and the consensus that bars, weapons and meatheads
don't mix AT ALL. With no desire to be a part of the afore mentioned
concepts in any combination, the idea of really big old english tattoos
fell into place. How hilarious would it be to have a REALLY big tattoo
- the pinnacle of toughness - that said something that completely
defeated the purpose? SEVERE intoxication ensues... what should the
tattoo say? Only one film could really have coined the phrase that
would define the tattoo - Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I think it's
Damone that says it - "That guys a wussy" "What?"
"You know - part wimp and part pussy, the guys a wussy..."
Hilarity. Our boys couldn't stop laughing at the concept. The biggest,
toughest tattoo that completely defeats the very purpose of what the
average tool thinks getting a tattoo should be about. What next, slang
names? #1 - Passion daddy (P-Daddy) "I'd totally fight you, but
I really need a hug... how about a hug?" - coming from a big,
tattooed, pierced guy sitting at the end of the bar... #2 - Fatigue...
"I'd totally fight you, but I'm SO sleepy... you'll hit me once
and I'll totally go to sleep..." It continues... "You can
hit me all you want, but I'm totally gonna bleed all over you, it'll
ruin all your clothes... "Don't fuck with me, I'll knit you a
fucking sweater..." "Sure, keep fucking with me - I'll crochet
you a doily..." The WUSSY battle cry at last rears it's head,
in the event of physical confrontation, cover your head and yell "Not
in the face!" The evening drowns in a cloud of booze. The next
day, a still rather intoxicated #2 is awoken by #1 calling to say
"alright motherfucker, I got mine, come and get yours!"
"What?" #2 has no recollection, but comes and gets his in
4 inch old english letters as well. A legacy is born" |
